JASON HORSLER - Disciple of Christ

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Agape eis telos - and forever grateful

Know and live out Scripture
   Pray without ceasing
Be humble and loving
   To God's eternal glory
Repenting and rejoicing 
   Until Christ comes again.

   It is the 25th of January 2015 and, having now read 'Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life' by Donald S. Whitney, I have been inspired to keep a journal. I shall endeavour to add an entry daily but I have also delved back into past times when I have corresponded with others or made observations myself and have added these to complete my record as much as possible. This is why my journal starts with items pre 2015. I write this journal for my own growth and record and also as a legacy for my wife and children and as an encouragement to any who may find it and read it. May it lead to a deeper understanding and devotion to our God, King and Saviour, the only wise Ancient of Days and pre-eminent Holy one - Christ Jesus.

    I became a Christian back in 1993 while I was in my last year of high school in South Africa, but poor timing meant I was never properly discipled and in college I decided to go it alone with just my Bible and God. I avoided church because I was very uncomfortable with the charismatic movement which seemed to be in every church I went to. In those days the Toronto blessing was ubiquitous and highly disturbing to witness. Watching people howling and falling about made me consider that what I was seeing was contrary to the message of Scripture. Even though I did not know the Bible well my impression was that I was seeing something anti-Christian. If a curious unconverted person walked into one of those churches during an 'out-pouring' they would just walk out again in disgust. I finally decided to go it alone, praying and reading scripture nearly every day for 21 years. sometimes there were long stretches of scripture drought and times of terrible moral corruption. I was a chief of sinners. The problem was that Jesus was a big part of my life, but he wasn't the centre of it. I confessed with my mouth but my faith had no works and I remained much unchanged. I was obsessed with myself and with many less than savoury practices. Others would be surprised when I claimed I was a Christian. I kept God in a convenient box - He was my eternal insurance policy. I convinced myself i could turn Him off or tune Him out so that i could indulge in the flesh. With such blasphemy and all the other sins I committed while calling myself saved, it is surprising to me that He still loves me at all. But then, that is the awesome patience and grace of God. It is why i find David's life story so encouraging. In April of 2013 He decided enough was enough. He took the throne of my life - praise the Lord! For the first time I realised how dangerous my obsessions were, how locked I was into the hell-bound addictions of the flesh. For the first time guilt fled from me and so too did my desire to always be in control of my life. I became hungry for the Word, hungry for the Holy Spirit. The Bible opened up to me like a flower and it is beautiful. I have fallen in love with God again ... and again ... every day. My path now seems littered with epiphany. I was baptised in August 2013 with my wife Agi and now we boldly act and wait on the Lord who has saved us by his precious blood. I encourage anyone reading this to seek out a sincere and worshipful relationship with Jesus Christ. Amen

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